ANNABEL BLYTHE TAN SU EE
im everything you want!HAHA
vampire lover
miss chatterbox
miss retarded
miss bimbo with brains
child at heart
silly
PARAMORE FAN!!
happy-go-lucky
sing, photography, jog, music, guitar
chill, pool, shopaholic, coffee,cakes
random, loud, ticklish, irritating
books, clouds, artyfarty
student, NYP, christian N337, ex-GT, MZ
spongebob's my BF
wishlist
my own sweet bedrm
hair extensions
makeup set
makeups
la senza bras
zara heels
camera phone
river island flat shoe
verawang perfume
sponser vocal classes
pedicure vouchers
guess wallet
topshop/perkin shopping vouchers
BUSY!!!!!!! will blog maybe sunday alot of updates!!!!!!!!!! [:
Saturday, August 30, 2008 9:02 AM
addie the perviee!!
LOL had a chat with addie the perviee haha
i wish i could type all coz is super retarded but ya and and!! my lappy cant screenshot *wth!* sorry haha
addie: i want to have a gay fren now! ... .... .... addie: u can sleep with them and no one can say anything cuz they are GAY su: lol addie: true merrr, its like u can sleep topless with ur les partner and they cannot say much cuz both of u are girls who just happen to like sleeping topless and addie states she is wise haa
su: *telling abt fren* addie: but u see with a gay fren u can touch anywhere u want HAHAHHAHAHAHA su: omg, adeline why u wanna touch arh!!!!!!!! haha...nvm go male cub work can touch till u are shuang!! LOL addie: duwan, those nt v nice su: LOL addie: i need young specimens!! by the way it seems she is doing some exp. LOL
ok this is good fren addie the previe!! dedicated to u adeline!! LOL loves
8:07 AM
open up my eyes to the things unseen
DON'T WANNA WALK THIS ROAD ALONE CAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE THE BEST OF ME
AND I WON'T DO IT ON MY OWN CAUSE IN YOU I FOUND MY DESTINY
THE ROAD IS LONG THE VALLEY'S DEEP THE OCEAN'S WIDE IN FRONT OF ME
BUT GOD SAVED THE DAY JESUS YOU'RE THE WAY THE TRUTH, THE LIGHT THE HOPE FOR ALL MANKIND
BUT GOD SAVED THE DAY
in u i found my destiny! standing on the stage u asked me u showed me again u reminded me God indeed open up my eyes to the things unseen to the things that haven come to past! u show me wat i have always been dreaming abt to sing for you!
today i was so convicted to chase after my dream to become a worship leader one day i will fulfil this my destiny faith faith faith faith to believe!! faith is the key man!! hahaha ok now the next question is how and where shall find out tmr!!! muhaha definately not easy, look at how big the choir is and where am i BUT!! no fear! no doubt! i will rise up coz i believe in God and myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: im angry with myself for missing the chance to be GT zone BV!!! coz i doubted myself URGH!!! GOD another door please? i promise to grab hold and nv let go LOL!!!
seriously i hate groups with a group aeriously it sucks haha so random rite but ya but i guess its human nature to find people who are similar to u and just draw closer to them haha u cant blame people need relationships need interaction with people who are similar to self as well haha there is where the word bestie comes in? haha
true should interact with people who are different from u so can learn more things haha
ok balance *uhmmm* haha
i miss bestie maybe yst was our last time tgt;[ dont abandon me LOL
9:07 PM
amazingly silly?
mmm been reading someone's blog wont say who haha anyway im like woah~ good or bad ma mmm i say amazingly silly to the extend haha mmmm got me thinking quite abit abt relationships haha but i guess is just a learning journey ma[:
ok anyways life's like this right? up down up down u understand im sure u been through them keke some survive some fail
so be the survivor kays! be strong!![:
i guess feelings are different we hang out but there isnt any u know u know that kind of: love~ on my side luh haha *phew* 2yrs we'll see in 2yrs haha if we still keep in contact haha
9:33 AM
anyw
hai
sometimes there are somethings that just cant be typed out
or journal-ed out
haha
is super sadness
vvv super sadness
hai
nvm
anyway TGIF
haha super happy today work was smooth sailing working with the peeps im working with is super fun !!!! [: haha den when shopping awhile keke ok i officially have a boring blog haha ;[
Thursday, August 28, 2008 1:49 AM
Dream Meanings - SEPARATION To dream of a separation, represents a waking situation or relationship that is breaking apart. You may be experiencing separation anxiety. Alternatively, it indicates that you are feeling torn apart and divided. Your feelings are pulling you in opposite directions.
haha guess wat! I WAS LATE FOR WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arggggg gonna affect my appraisal boohoo~ nvm work was fine not very busy ahha
somehow those words upset me mmmm?
1:15 AM
the song is super nice!!! haha in guitar haha
Tuesday, August 26, 2008 7:51 AM
candy treat for ur eye
ok ur honour! LOL candy treats for ur eye if too sweet may click on the red cross on ur top right hand corner LOL watever-_-
i kinda lose quite abit of weight over this few weeks
BUT!!!!im seriously putting on again!!
diet where have u go
LOL
jkjk
shall resume running
HOPEFULLY!
next wk!
tmr bld test results!!
pray pray pray
muhaha!
7:10 AM
learning journey
firstly let me say MY SKIN IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! vegetable!!! URGH! fine second i seriously think bestie is abandoning me!! *alarm rings* haha oh wells watever who bothers abt him!!!!!! third haha today is like woah! seriously didnt have much time to even check sms! haha tat busy busy with learning of course! SN wanyi is super nice!!!! strict and nice! love really learnt alot today really need to buck up pull up my socks!!!!!!!!!!!!1 URGH!!! expectations are higher yr 2 must know their stuff!! JIA YOU SUSU!! is nt just wanting to be a nurse is aiming to be an excellent nurse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woots!
haha i get contented too easily haha good and bad i guess haha i feel so silly haha i can be so happy just by something very small yet i can get all flustered and worried by something equally small haha silly susu i guess thats part of my character haha
lalala~ keke i can be such a little silly girl haha grow up belsu! grow up haha
mmm sometimes i wished i didnt knew him yet i thank God i know him bleahXP
oh note to self eat lesser and healthier haha diet? haha! i miss!
who am i, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name would care to feel my hurt
who am i, that the Bright and Morning Star would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart not because of who i am but because of what Youve done not because of what ive done but because of who You are
i am a flower quickly fading here today and gone tomorrow a wave tossed in the oceana vapor in the wind still You hear me when im calling Lord, You catch me when im falling and Youve told me who i am i am Yours, i am Yours
who am i, that the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again
who am i, that the voice that calmed the sea would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me not because of who i am but because of what Youve done not because of what ive done but because of who You are
i am a flower quickly fading here today and gone tomorrow a wave tossed in the ocean a vapor in the wind still You hear me when im calling Lord, You catch me when im falling and Youve told me who i am whom shall i fear whom shall i fear‘ cause i am Yours i am Yours
i am Yours
who am i ? that i may deserve all these the times that i fail u the times when i turned my back away from u the times i gave u up just so i can have fun in the world the times that i cried and blame u for all the bad things the times i broke ur promises the times when i disobeyed ur voice the times when i forgot to go to u first who am i ? that i may deserve all these
that is my mind haha today first day attachment kinda bored as usual haha cant wait for tmr coz got juniors!! i love juniors haha!! and im a super nice senior kays! LOL anyway too fast too many my mind that is today during attachment alot of the same thing went through my mind *shallnt say wat* but kinda scared of this thought this emotion haha
dont always presume that people care about u as much as u care abt them dont always presume that people are happy when they receive ur sms as much as u are happy when they sms u wats first in one's heart may not be the same as the other person's
though i was feeling confuse didnt affect my performance for that i give myself a pat on the shoulder but just that i seem to miss more den usual haha
oh wells S.A Tan be gone u dont belong in my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! belsu must be stronger in controlling her mind and emotions!!! JIAYOU!
oh ya i was worrying abt my future again LOL was thinking u see arh in 3 more sems im gng to work le means three things haha: 1. i wont be in church as often esp fri and sat [pray God bless me with good shifts haha] 2. means will be busy wont have as much time to find for relationship!! LOL 3. by the time i finish serving my bond i will be ard 23/24 and means i wan to get married le haha and i oso want to got SOT and further study !!! URGH! ok shallnt worry too much!!! God has his good plan for me!!!
lastly i think im getting better i dont think i got hepatitis coz im feeling hungry again!! LOL [: happy susu
7 THINGS THAT SCARES ME: 1. darkness 2. losing freedom 3. losing my besties 4. failing my exams 5. being cooped up at home 6. losing my voice 7. falling flat on my face
7 THINGS I LIKE THE MOST: 1. God 2. besties 3. singing 4. shopping 5. blogging 6. reading 7. being retarded
7 IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY ROOM: 1. my bed 2. lappy 3. aircon 4. makeups and all those 5. pillows, soft toys 6. rubbish bin 7. wardrobe
7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME 1. im retarded 2. basic makeup is EYELINER 3. im an ampilfier 4. i love chilling, hanging out till late 5. i cant stop blogging 6. im not attached 7. i love subway
7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE 1. sing for God 2. be married and with family 3. travel ard the world 4. inspire people 5. live by the sea 6. song write 7. know im gng to be an singing angel in heaven
7 THINGS I CAN DO: 1. sing 2. worry too much 3. shopping like crazy 4. talk till the sunrises 5. roller blade 6. makeup 7. love people
7 THINGS I CANT DO: 1. stop worrying too much 2. stop talking and laughing 3. cook 4. i cant control how people feel and their actions 5. say my alphabets backwards haha 6. lose weight fast haha 7. control my emotions XP oops
7 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO ATTRACT THE OPPOSITE SEX: this ma mmm i dont know haha!
7 PHRASES I SAY OFTEN: 1. darling 2. LOL..........LOL 3. relax~ 4. bluff u got money taken meh? haha 5. wah sia la 6. dont disturb u le 7. loves
6:16 AM
squirmy
haha feelie all squirmy keke weird feeling dont know haha sound like im in love or something! but its not! dont worry
suddenly i feel like being so many things haha i feel like being a little girl and play i feel like being a sophisicated lady i feel like giggling i feel like going for a pinic i feel like going shopping with my besties i feel like taking photographs i feel like dancing i feel like acting retarded with bestie i feel like taking long train and bus rides i feel like being tickledby bestie i feel like flying i feel like laughing with bestie i feel like hanging out with bestie i feel like eating at NYNY i feel like walking close to bestie i feel like running i feel like screaming at the ocean i feel like piercing my tongue i feel like laughing at bestie2 i feel like missing bestie i feel like singing i feel like playing hide-and-seek i feel like having a tiny winy bit more of freedom! i feel like staying out from home i feel like travelling
i just dont feel like being me!! boring me!!
MY SOUL SCREAMS FREEDOM!!!!
4:22 AM
finish reading tuesdays with morrie and the pact tuesdays with morrie 5/5stars the pact 4.5/5 stars
both recommanded!![: anyway tmr is start of posting again time seriously flies with u are older! and 3more sems im gng to work le! come to think abt it i dont know if whether im really ready LOL!! keke anyway tmr posting at SGH surg ward 58 come find me LOL attachment is like sch now haha kinda settled in le HAHA!!
peace[:
1:42 AM
your grace is sufficient
haha i wrote my first song! haha simple suddenly felt God's presence abt blogging my prev post start worshipping and praying felt tears cause his peace is like woah~ is like im on a boat with Him thats stuck in the midst of the biggest storm but yet theres peace on the inside
Your grace is sufficient
Im your sheep, that’s lost In the darkness, and the storms I cry to u, will u save me And bring me out from where im lost Into ur arms, u hold me safe
I hear ur voice, peaceful That comforts my soul And leads me on I trust in u I trust in you that i am saved By ur grace is where I stand
You are my peace In times of need You are my comfort Whenever I cry
You are my God My almighty father You are my friend When im alone
I trust in you I trust in you I trust in you You will carry me [x2]
was reading his posts and i was asking the qns he posted reflecting on my life in this time
yea true recently been quite stress over sch over ministry over frens kinda feel like pulling out giving up on self and God kinda wanna cry everyday and pity party myself i guess i have bad stress-handling methods haha i guess been pressurising myself too much i want to do everything by myself
rest i need rest strength i need strength life really is stressful everything, everyone till the extend i forgot to pull myself out of the hustle and bustle of life just to find rest in God
so many things in me right now im worrying over my grades im worrying over ministry im worrying abt my fren these 3 are already enough to stress me out!! [small capacity] haha but i just need God i need God i need God i need God i need God i need God i need God all i need is God right now right at this moment
12:35 AM
i have decided! i want a red ipod nano!!!!
red red gorgeous red means i shld really start saving haha cut down eating too much outside cut down hanging out too late
oh and i must, i will go for IT fair nxt sunday!! hopefully bestie will go with me LOL!!
red ipod nano I WANT U!![:haha
Saturday, August 23, 2008 10:55 PM
ANGEL
Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay There’s always one reason To feel not good enough And it’s hard at the end of the day I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memory seeps from my veins Let me be empty And weightless and maybe I’ll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You’re in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line And everywhere you turn There’s vultures and thieves at your back And the storm keeps on twisting You keep on building the lie That you make up for all that you lack It don’t make no difference Escaping one last time It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You’re in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort there i woke thinking abt a fren and i woke up hearing this song on my blog and i worry abt my fren not in my control thats why i feel so helpless i guess is not up to me is my fren's choice and God's plan
i know u yearn for tat second chance u say u will wait, for sth thats quite impossible but if it makes u happy den i pray that ur second chance will come i may nt be as gd but i can always be u gd fren i just wish u would always bully me so i know u are happy
shoo shoo~ i hate worrying too much give me wrinkles and gets me depressed haha!!
REVOLUTION! my brain exclaimed REVOLUTION! the rest of my body echoed haha i guess tats is wat is gng on inside now haha!!
REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS AND AGAIN I SAID REJOICE! REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS AND AGAIN I SAID REJOICE! REJOICE, REJOICE AND AGAIN I SAID REJOICE REJOICE, REJOICE AND AGAIN I SAID REJOICE
haha you know God always put verses, revelations here and there today i took bus home and i seriously tot i was gng to cry aft he alight not because he alighted but it means it gives me time to think abt wat the doc. said today! haha but i didnt! instead i was singing all the way home haha of course not loudly luh, wait ppl think im mad! haha but during the course of it God reminded me of a sunday sch song [typed above haha] REJOICE, always rejoicing, bad times, good times, i will never stop![:
i guess this bus ride home really woke me up! haha i got a strong comfort, a peace thats amazing that everything is going to be fine with Him, with God i had sucha peace that calm my mind down from brooding over whether i got hepatitis anot! haha and second thing that i manage to survive without u see we are super good frens, close everything blah blah~ and sometimes i do miss him blah blah~ but somehow God comforted me on this bus journey home could really feel that He was sitting right next to me, all the way and i promise God that i wont be crying during this period stronger!
and for the first time in my entire life ok maybe nt entire life i entered my hse smiling at my mum LOL yea am super awake now and super hungry!!
seriously i need prayers now haha im super scared seen the doctor doctor say may be hepatitis [liver inflammation] A or B not confirm tues nid to go back for LFT and serum hep haha damn scared i almost cried there coz i rmb that i had an exposure to a hep Bpatient i repeat hep B patient just less den 2mths ago [i guess its a wake up call to be more alert in the workplace!!] ya hai! if i get hep B means end of career, end of studies if i get hep A still nt so bad, just lose more weight oh wells
peace haha!
9:27 AM
stress,sick and mental
haha love the title? stress,sick and mental sometimes its scary when a person doesnt have anything to do where a person has LOADS of free time haha y scary coz it gives time for a person to think too much, get sick too fast and get mentally ill LOL! i dont know abt u but tats me did u know worrying too much is a sign of negativeness haha! anyway tmr gng to see doctor IM LIKE SUPER SUPER HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! so upset today super nausea like no one's business haha! i will get well soon in Jesus name! woots haha ok anyways i better do something seriously with my wasted life LOL ok not tat bad just tat ya things are going on blah blah *zip mouth*
oh did u know? TODAY LAST DAY OF EXAMS!!!!!!!!! damn shuang!!! LOL was fairly doable a bit careless blah blah nvm im still gng to do well!!!!!!! haah[: head and not the tail [:
ok and thus means more time to pray more time to read more time to rest more time to do fruitful things! LOL :O
Thursday, August 21, 2008 8:40 AM
pull myself out of the well
haha everyone's getting out! seriously ahha i should stop going in too deep haha URGH! the well's too fun to leave but u know yas hai *just keep pulling* *just keep pulling* *just keep pulling* LOL
anyways fellowshipped with mr fong and mr tay haha at vivo den bugis haha SUPER FUN!! eh i nid to play devil may cry 4 pls!! haha~ den i power lo tmr got paper still go out to play! damn sian now haha nvm! ;[ haha
tata study!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008 8:19 PM
trust
human are scary creatures arent they? a person that seem super quiet and nice on the outside can maybe a monster inside waiting to unlease?
TRUST difficult to build, easy to break. but why? i always why?
maybe for my character i tend to believe people easily as long as u are nice to me and stuff but yet its also a weakness coz it means i get easily hurt? but i cant help but to trust people of coz i know the really bad ones i can dont trust haha but if i nv knew the person and i hear things abt the person i will still trust the person izzit naive? gullible? silly? reckless?
trust i guess everyone need relationships with other interaction with other hear b4? one man's an island when does it mean is a full trust in the person? coz nid relationship means nid trust and trust means it need time and yet if u trust someone theres are risk of getting hurt haha so izzit a vicious cycle? haha!!! oh well i dont know wat im typing too haha
retard
9:26 AM
WELCOME TO THE RETARDED WORLD OF MINE! HAHA
just random posting some random tots haha
everyone seems to be getting out except for me
and he said he missed me which made my day coz i kinda miss him too and everyone of course 2 more wks!
and i just realised annabel blythe tan su ee initials are A.B.T.S.E about su ee haha yea i know u wanna box me im random[: haha
tata i shld start make good decisions and stick to them URGH!
7:30 AM
NG tube
haha i seriously think i need to be NG tubed if i get hospitalised haha im like super hungry now again haha and just now just ate cereals and milk and i vomited all out literally all that i ate coz i could feel like my body was gng to vomit my stomach and i cringed alot LOL!! sadness my body is not really accepting any food now haha!!! ;[ so hungry but no appetite ;[ something wrong with me? i think i higher risk get GERD and oesophageal cancer haha if i dont stop vomiting haha!!! ;[
6:01 AM
20082008
keke happy 20082008 day LOL!! how did u spend this day? i didnt realised until my papa sms me haha wishing me LOL had bio paper at4-6 i think is doable no problem!![: haha den out shopping!! and play haha woots i still cant find that shop!!!!!!!!!! irritating! will go back haha!!!!!! [:
Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:59 PM
expectations.security
seek not to impress man but God i have this wonder u see if a person is secure in God there is no need to be going around to impress everyone but because their is family, peers, leaders, self that sets an expectation so theres a fear when one doesnt meet it right? u see aint perfect i understand people make mistakes definately but making mistake to me is almost like world collapse only because i know i may lose ppl's trust i may be put aside not wanted haha u know that kind of fear so thats why im pressured i know i made big silly mistakes
but seems like im on my own now haha ok plus with God luh haha
island of mistakes im there come find me haha
shall not pity party!
people say its because i lack security haha maybe?
7:30 PM
distractions.temptations.distractions
distractions.temptations.distractions right straight into my face!!! URGH haha
so tempting!!! so distracting!!!! hah
almost almost! fall into temptation haha but nv haha
distractions ma mmmm i cant conc haha home and everything haha!!
ok 2 more papers to go FRIDAY!! as wat addie states FREEDOM FRIDAY!
and i went running! seriously i feel fat ok im but im obessessed with losing weight i eat one meal/ day and i try to run almost everyday haha thats how crazy im !! haha oh wells
Monday, August 18, 2008 9:58 PM
Singapore govt to spend S$700m more on pro—family measures
SINGAPORE: The Singapore government plans to spend an additional S$700 million a year on measures to boost its flagging birth rate. Currently, it spends about S$900 million a year.
Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said in his National Day Rally speech on Sunday night that a baby brings much joy, but can also be a logistic and financial challenge, so a slew of measures will be implemented by the government to create more time and more funds to help parents cope with their children.
Paid maternity leave will be extended from 12 weeks to 16 weeks, and the extra four weeks can be taken anytime during the baby’s first year. It was previously extended from eight to 12 weeks in 2004.
There will also be a larger baby bonus for first—time parents, more tax incentives to encourage mothers to work, more incentives for the fifth and subsequent children, and more financial support for couples who go for In—Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) treatment.
On top of that, Mr Lee said parenting is not just the mother’s responsibility. "I used to change nappies, in the days before Pampers. So you’ve actually got to fold the cloth, you’ve got to put it on, you’ve got to put the safety pin, I haven’t pricked any baby yet. If I can do it, that means anybody can do it," he quipped.
Emphasising that parenting is a job for both parents has influenced some policy changes which he hopes will help to shift attitudes. Childcare leave, which can be claimed by either parent, will be extended from two to six days per year. There will also be one week of unpaid infant—care leave per year, and mums or dads can claim it until their child turns two years old.
Mr Lee acknowledged that professional women find the cost of not working the highest, and he cited his own mother’s work—life choices. A successful lawyer, Mrs Lee Kuan Yew chose to put her children first, took on fewer cases, avoided evening work functions and ate lunch at home every day with her children.
He said having children is a personal choice, and parents have to decide their own priorities. The government will help by catering to demand and creating 20,000 places at 200 new childcare centres over the next five years. There will also be more financial support to help kindergartens upgrade their staff and curricula, as well as more financial help for parents. Mr Lee said: "These measures all add up to a very significant package. We are talking of about maybe S$700 million a year. If more babies are born, it will be more than S$700 million a year. But even that is about double of what we are spending today on child incentives and all together we will have about S$1.6 billion spent a year or 0.6 per cent of GDP."
For many people in Singapore, getting married is the first priority. Mr Lee said the government would do what it could to help, but urged young Singaporeans not to leave it till it is too late and to make time to go out, meet new friends and if necessary, join a dating agency.
Mr Lee also spent some time sharing humorous stories from the feedback he received from dating agencies, including unrealistic expectations and poor social graces. He announced that the government will merge the Social Development Unit (SDU) which caters to graduates, and the Social Development Service (SDS) for non—graduates to increase matchmaking flexibility and activities. SDU will also come up with an SDU Trust Mark to ensure that those who prefer using private dating agencies will get quality service.
singapore is desperate for a baby boom haha wat to do small country plus ppl migrating away ;[ haha soon soon
LOL
9:09 AM
growing old or biological clock or books?
haha lets see im turning 18 in abt 4mths time haha and i realised that i cant really study overnight now i currently feeling super tired haha izzit coz im growing old?
this few days been gng for morning pm does it mean my biological clock has been adjusted according? thou im missing tmr's im suppose to be chionging my revision for bio haha XP
or izzit just because its studying thats y i suddenly feel so tired haha u see i still can blog as usual haha
ok i think the answer is number three LOL i must jia you!!
3:56 AM
mental
a potion from the bk im reading [the pact]
Emily She had spend her entire life being what everyone wanted her to be. The perfect daughter, the budding artist, the best friend, the first love. She had been busy meeting everyone's expectations, in fact, it has taken her years to remember exactly why it was all one big farce
in life u either succeed or u fail is either u be u or u be others
recently im getting a little mental in fact a little scary a little suicidal a little obessessed a little up and down here and there a little busy mtg expectations a little busy trying to learn a little too near the edge of the cliff
the tot of suicidal was scary as i looked back simply just a few days ago, this week first hopefully the last
too much stress to do well too much stress to meet expectations too much distractions too much obessession
seriously im obessessed with losing weight that im starving myself to the extend where im feeling so fatigue and lifeless haha but yet i cant get myself to eat more den one meal per day haha i can hear my stomach calling for food but yet i dont feel like eating at all
hopefully subway will wake me up even though i dont feel like eating
better chiong bio le! woots!
Sunday, August 17, 2008 7:46 PM
exam blues
damn it im stress exams blues and i think im sick my intake is getting lesser while my output is increasing haha anyways now a sch lab studying!! URGH stresss!!!!!! be gone! anyway have u ever caught in a situation where u always seem to stuck with the same person haha!! anyways pm was good! thou i still feel stress i know im gng to be alright![: and i had fun relaxing aft tat made me laughed alot! *pinch*
8:19 AM
YOUTH
i got convicted as a youth NOT TO WASTE TIME!! which is wat i love to do teehee LOL God convicted me not to waste anymore time i wasted like thousand and one chances millions of times! be it in my walk with God in my studies in my development i wasted time and opportunities
i gave things up so for that i can have temporary fun how silly billy susu am i haha
i wasted time thinking too much i wasted time wondering when i will be attached i wasted time talking too much i wasted time getting upset over the same things again and again i wasted my opportunity to rise up and serve i wasted my opportunity to love people more
but now I SHALL WASTE TIME NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!
annabel blythe tan su ee shall be an opportunity catcher! and time waster no more!!!
too short too many things to do! haha
ciao!
6:52 AM
my heart is floating middle air u make me smile and laugh yet u make me upset God pls pls catch hold of my heart and fix it glue it in place!!! URGH!!
lalala~
5:49 AM
badminton challenge
BADMINTON CHALLENGE ZACHARY FONG VS ANNABEL TAN BRING IT ON MAN!! haha u are the best its ok! haha my aim is to lose weight! LOL muhahaha
2:01 AM
80th post
*drum rolls* haha my 80th post goes to *drum rolls* is life really unfair? yep u read it right is life really unfair? sometimes i ask myself that why izzit that IT HAS TO BE ME AGAIN? why izzit I SEEM TO BE WALKING IN THE SAME CIRCLE AGAIN? why izzit I DONT SEEM TO BE REACHING MY DESTINATION? mmmm why is life so unfair? why cant i grow up in a perfect family? why cant i grow up in a better environment? why i cant look like other girls? why do i have so much problems with myself?
why why why why? only why haha
actually life aint unfair yes things do happen to good people and evil people seem to get away
life is just like an empty map an empty book is up to one self to path out to map to make decisions to decided whether they want the harder way ?
we all have the same empty book same empty map no matter rich or poor circumstances one can change it if wants to dont u think so? so i guess life aint so unfair now haha since we are all the same to start with[:
1:35 AM
was reading back my posts haha i feel so boring feel my life is so boring nth much except complaining abt us haha retard i seriously think i suffer from thinking-too-much syndrome ! haha serious i need to get a life haha need to get out and do sth!!! haha ok but for now shall study hard for exams haha tmr is adult nursing exam! urgh haven even finish everything dead fish cans haha! oh wells
i should start colouring my life with rainbowcolours haha! life's too monochromed! off to study!
Saturday, August 16, 2008 9:52 PM
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." [Morrie Schwartz]
busy with doing the wrong things?
9:35 AM
a lost child
share a story kays haha there was this child young curious and wanted to try everything one day the child's father decided to bring the child to see this beautiful mountain that was across the country the daddy drove his child across the country out and to that beautiful mountain along the way the child kept exclaiming how wonderful the peak of the mountain looks and he want to quickly get up there and the father replied with a smile, yes my child we will go there. so reach the bottom of the mountain was a long and winding valley leading to the foot of the mountain itself they took there and the child told her daddy, "it looks scary" as she clings on to him. He urge her on to start walking into the valley. as time went by, the child became impatient and told her daddy whether they could turn back "we'll nv reach the peak of tat mountain" she whined. but the daddy only smiled back and said "yes my child we will go there"
as they walk it got darker and darker, and the child was getting tired from walking so she asked her daddy to carry her and he agreed bit by bit, slowly as the time grew later the child arose from her father's shoulder and asked whether they reached and he gently repiled yes my child and the child stood there in awe and said we made it!! haha [pardon for any bad grammer] the child is ME the father is God yep im like at the midst of the darkest deepest valley of my life so far the worst luh haha! but sometimes we forget to thk God at the end when we reached the peak of another glorious mountain and we just credit to self haha i guess the only person who would stand by us in times of trials and valley i can only say God true maybe best frens would be there but i still feel the safest is to cling on to God
Yea thou i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evil for U are with me Ur rod and staff they comfort me
[: it feels good to throw some sand bags!!! woots! now i dont care wat ppl say or think as long as God knows im sure its all gonna turn out right for those who love Him woots letting go of him been clinging too tightly to him yucks haha
Friday, August 15, 2008 9:08 AM
HA!
HA! omg first time didnt fall in the spirit LOL sai la hai nvm but still got anointance keke! woots thk God i didnt miss this wk's cg coz the word wah super in season haha!
ya as u can read my posts been trying to make up my decision haha so tada the way of life making wise decisions choosing the path one set their feet upon would lead to different destination i guess is during the period of youth where is the time to make mistakes learn and get moulded nt until one is 30 plus plus haha by den mindset all fix le haha! so woots GO AHEAD!! of course still be wise luh LOL ha!!!
see la been crying over nth! LOL retard
free free free~ better chiong !!! ><
anyways current bk: the pact author: jodi picoult rate so far: 4/5 nxt bk collection: jodi picoult haha!
Thursday, August 14, 2008 7:56 PM
susu decision-making theory!
haha my own decision making theory
1. u get ur cognitive dissonance so u feel v uncomfortable means there is a need for a decision
2. den u get all emotional, feel like u dont know wat to do, ur mind just cant seem to process the situation properly due the uncomfortable state [pray and lift to God]
3. so u either chose to deny the situation or u seek for advice or info of the situation [pray and lift to God]
4. den the questioning, doubting portion, weighting the both sides of the situation [pray and lift to God]
5. fast and pray and lift to God, ask God what would u do? what shld i do?
6. decision made
7. second decision not to regret the decision made
haha susu' theory im like stuck at stage 4 thats why i m always so slow in making decisions haha retard i like to question myself and my possibilities thats why im always stuck XD
7:01 PM
i was just wondering
i was just wondering if i made this decision wat will happen to me now and in the coming future will this be the biggest mistake i ever make? if i cfm my decision it means im gng to thread on dangerous grd im gng to break from my protection shield would u? would my decision affect the other party or just myself? mmmm still pondering
i have been thinking about it i have been thinking shld i or shld i not? *headache* some people know it better some people exp it before but i dont know anything except for the time spend tgt whether i shld or shldnt? *headache* chances tell me yes yet infos tell me no
i guess people need second chances rite? i mean we all make mistake ranging from small to horrendous ones but they still deserve second chance? many chances? but yet at the same time those giving the chances will get hurt time and time again rite? is there a capacity to contain the person's mistakes? izzit possible to be the one seeing the change if chance was given? wats the possibility of getting hurted? does it mean if a person committed the mistake, the person will do it forever? will the person be awake? mmm shld pray more abt it....[:
God? how? what would you do? *sudden heartbrokenly confused* ha! ;[ i would pick chance but im nt sure haha
[mm i still think the person doesnt bother abt me haha!nvm]
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 11:29 PM
5 love languages
haha was just looking at other ppl's blog den came across a quiz TADA! haha
The Five Love Languages
My primary love language is probably Quality Time with a secondary love language being Acts of Service.
Complete set of results
Quality Time:
10
Acts of Service:
8
Physical Touch:
7
Words of Affirmation:
4
Receiving Gifts:
1
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
haha life use to be roller coaster haha now its ahurricane *blows* haha oh wells it came like a hurricane, predictable yet unpredictable
today had my first paper haha sia la can pass luh haah prayerfully anyway aft that i was super emotional haha went home crying cans can u imagine how ma lu it is ;[ but today i cried like i nv cried before haha i have nv cried so hard for a person before the person meant quite a lot to me i guess?? all the way home reached my bedroom and let it all out, i scared myself just by standing in front of the mirror! LOL hai yea that bad i guess cause it breaking up a close bond to not so close bond haha it hurts ;[ ROARS!!! but today 14 august i told God fine God haha i will cfm plus chop let it go le cause anyway i cant do anything abt it ma LOL so machiam just give u lo haha my life everything God u take control im too weak myself ;[ haha now i feel like nth lo haha not heartless definately will miss as bestie but all has it limits all has it season if we were meant to be bestie we definately will be bestie even in the future GOD SHALL DECIDE YOUR PLANS FOR ME ARE WAY HIGHER! but now is GOD, STUDIES, VOCALS AND CG haha busy like a bee~[:
God's love is really such a mystery to me i dont know wat is so percious in us that He is willing to scarifice His only son just so that He could patch the gap bt human and Himself how no matter how many million billion times we fail Him He still tell us He always love us that He would go all the way out just for one lost sheep that He would not forsake us through stormy times that He never leaves our side a love that really cause me to be in awe of Him
morning prayers are so impt in bringing the rest of the day up seeking God in the morning bashing through all tiredness just to be with God
my roadside chat could just sit there till morning comes talk like theres no tmr see the people see the cars see the world that God create building a frenship that hopefully can last building a trust that no one would break share life's trouble and edify one another laughing like no one's business and saying goodbyes always sucks haha
watever so poetic aha ok better revise one more time for tmr first paper! GOD !!!!! help kays haha loves
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 11:36 PM
HOME
home is said to be the place of comfort warmth ahh~ to relax u know
thats why im super restless now!!!!!! ROARSS XP hai to cozy wozy to concentration to mug for exams!!!!! super restless
I CANT STAND BEING AT HOME TO STUDY!!!!!!! URGH roars kays i think i shall go downstairs the bbq pit there and study LOL
tata~
6:53 AM
best friends of different gender
the best thing abt wat human can do is to form FRENSHIPS along the race people that u can hang out with, just talk until sun rises but the portion where it is the opposite gender thats gets a little problem hha
who wouldnt think that seeing two people of the opposite gender hanging out tgt playing tgt wouldnt think maybe theres sth gng on? haha i would
but sometimes things really aint the way they seem
i guess there a need to express it out i guess mmm
anyway i enjoy my time today just talking abt things just hanging out rawks
2:37 AM
sotong.affairs
im such a SOTONG! HAHA blur me seriously thought i had a paper tmr but actually its not! LOL its on thurs hai sotong anyways i better be careful where i am right now my position can make or break things urgh! i hate this nv loved it haha hai GOD GOD! seal my mouth
Monday, August 11, 2008 11:18 PM
LOVE/hate balance
i seriously LOVE this new balance commercial
LOVE/hate balance
10:32 PM
just do it
running was something i HATE u know H-A-T-E seriously like nobody's business haha but i realised it very fulfilling to me haha simply running one rd pushs me on to do better the next time i run today i ran i walked alittle but im still satisfied i guess now a good way to relieve stress in no more eating for me is RUNNING!! who want run tgt with me pls sms call me im gladly willing
anyway proud of myself lost 3kg within this 2wks woots!! im on my way to being healthy hah! healthy and slim haha! *ROARS* [: and my diet arh mmm not eating very well leh dont know why ;[? stress?
6:36 PM
spend time wisely.sick
URGH! super upset with myself losing control again URGH!
*ROARSSS* been wasting away my time can u believe it has been 1 month i tot only 2wks cans omg dead fish hai been wasting my time playing not doing anything for my breakthrough wheres my discipline hai
today went for morning pm again aft tat was discipled im really slow in making decisions;[ seriously luh i dont know where im heading haha dead fish no more a laughing matter better buck up and be seriously i dont know wat else i can contribute;[
ok den aft tat went macs breakfast [again] with jon and ashley haha i seriously think im not well or tooo stress le haha no appetite at all hai i ate luh but got home i vomited all my 5bucks breakfast *roars* haha-_- den i go home jon and ashley go sch lo haha
stupid first paper tmr leh haha 9am cant go morn pm le haha nvm thurs[: keke
i got rmbed of a portion that pst preached about finishing the race well many people start of on super fire for God, want to serve this and that, everything is like a big bam but as we continue running we know that people tire out, start to lose the fire and start to find things such a chore i got reminded that if we start the race well den we got to end the race even better![: not just running half way and stop
like my running project haha i started with 3 rds in sch den 1 rd ard my estate on sat i seriously hate running to the core but i realised that if i start training my body to adapt to running, start pacing my speed i know that its good for my health
same goes for the race with God pacing one self is impt pacing onself with God is impt knowing where u are heading knowing wat is planned for u is impt
love God
6:52 AM
*ouch*
missing a person hurts trying to forget someone sucks seeing the person while doing both can cause u to go back to square one i understand i feel i exp different yet almost the same luh haha
going through this took a large portion of me my disicipline my self control sucks it hurts u feel like crying feel like seeing the person haha but u just know u cant cant let it affect u i know i feel it seriously sucks
but gng through it i find myself tougher in this area i can lose control one day and realise how silly im and take control of my life not allowing the other party to take control
not by my strength but by God's strength really
i have all my fun but end of the day i still know where my line is
everything boils down to whether u want it this way or that way ur choice[:
5:50 AM
PM.day out
woots today was a SUPER DUPER GOOD DAY!!! except for some of my paranoid-ness nevertheless haha woke up le 545AM haha to go for morning pm at paya lebar along with gwyn, cheekiong, jon, nessa,morg,amandal, anjo, derrick woots it a very new start for me i super enjoy spending time with God early in the morning tmr go too!!! den tmr shall go running and chiong exams!!! ><
den anyways we all went for breakfast tgt at MACS! hha den all left except me, jon an derrick i super feel like gng out to study! so we stoned there awhile to thinking where to go! haha said go town haha jon: ya we go there shop for grills haha retard as usual so go lo called jie jie to come down too!!! haha den 3 of us slacked at buckstar LOL for 2-3 hrs hah! woots i super didnt feel like studying end up playing with jon hai den meet jie lo den go buy tee LOL same tee sat wear tgt! LOL!! haah den go cine to eat at pastamania share food den decided to go watch mummies haha stupid jon keep playing u watch out thks jie jie for queueing [be jie's fren mus got money de haha!! otherwise ya LOL nvm]
ok mummies is a suuupppeeerrr retarded show!!!!!! ok luh some credits to the effects BUT IT REALLY IS RETARDED keep on wanting to laugh den slept awhile >< nvm 6bucks haha
den suppose to go home end up jie go taka buy his brownie den we wented shopping!! from taka to wisma to far east LOL and omg luh!! jie arh from wisma gng to far east got a guy holding the free hug banner so jie and me went and jie hug him suupppeerrr long i tell u like the guy his gf or sth LOL SUPER FUNNY!! and play sissors paper stone the hit hand de with jon im so sorry im v violent hit until vein pop out and hand all red LOL!!!! retard
ya thks a lot jon haha for "bullying" me haha u should know and jie jie OMG I TELL U DO GO SHOPPING WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!! JOKER SIA me and jon couldnt stop laughing!!! and jon is the branded kid haha! now i know arh!haha
den we keep walking and walking until supppeeerrr tired luh tabuleh so go home lo lol
JIE IS THE MAN!! haha best shopper to shop with LOL and jon is well ermmss hha sshh
ok off to chiong!!!!!!!!! played too much LOL
Sunday, August 10, 2008 6:45 AM
SILLY SUSU
im super silly i cried over nothing just now i was just being paranoid haha sillysusu
anyway im on study mode last post for the day i guess[:
ahhh~ so proud of myself one step better woots
thk God
5:41 AM
trapped in my own trap same retardedness
better start my exam routine le! CANT AFFORD TO BE DISTRACTED NOW!!!!! dont care abt le gambatte susu can make it! shall have morning pm and study away from home! wed first paper!